Episode 14 - Pregnancy after Infertility and the Last PIO

Join us as we open the doors to our very personal and emotionally charged journey through IVF. After battling infertility for four years, we've finally arrived at the 10-week mark of our pregnancy and each day brings a unique mix of joy, fear, and anxiety. Through it all, we've grown stronger together and more hopeful. 

We chat about the "official end" of our IVF journey and the feelings of relief and fear that have accompanied it...and how that even though it feels like the end of our journey, we know full well it isn't over. We also chat about the last progesterone in oil shot (PIO)  and the wild rollercoaster of emotions that have come along with that . Despite these challenges, we’re incredibly grateful for the medical advancements that have helped us to sustain this pregnancy and get pregnant in the first place. We hope our candid discussion can provide some comfort and validation to those navigating similar struggles. 

But the story doesn't end there. We also delve into the emotional toll of pregnancy after infertility. After four years of trying to conceive, we've felt the strain and the constant need to be in control. We share our experiences with physical symptoms and discuss how despite the mental and emotional turmoil, we're still trying to enjoy the journey. 

Transcript

Pregnancy Update and Emotions

Speaker 1 0:01

Welcome to the Maybe Baby Diaries podcast . I'm your host , mariah Montgomery . Here we'll discuss all things in fertility , like heartbreak , joy , growth , loss and the wild , crazy journey that it is . Let's bring awareness , education and understanding to the table . You aren't alone . Together , we've got this . Hello everybody , and welcome to this week's episode . In this episode , we're just going to be doing another recap on kind of where we are in this journey and , I guess , like the next steps going forward and where everything's at . I'm with my husband , brent , today . Hello Brent .

Speaker 2 0:36

Hello .

Speaker 1 0:37

Hello , thank you for joining me again . You are welcome . And grateful you're here for all of these recaps , yeah , but I mean , so many of you guys have been following along with our journey and we just wanted to keep you guys updated on where we are and kind of , like you know , shed some light on what IVF looks like and what pregnancy , in particular , looks like after pregnancy , loss and infertility . And we are in both of those categories . So today I am officially 10 weeks and three days pregnant .

Speaker 2 1:10

I think so .

Speaker 1 1:11

Yeah , 10 weeks and three days .

Speaker 2 1:12

You were 10 , 10 weeks .

Speaker 1 1:14

officially on Thursday so this is like the furthest we have ever been pregnant together .

Speaker 2 1:23

By four weeks .

Speaker 1 1:24

Yeah , and it has been a trip . It has been like a such a wild journey . I mean , if you listened to our last episode where we kind of talked about what was going on with my subcleronic hemorrhage , you know that we've been dealing with all of the craziness with that and all of the emotions that have gone along with that , and now that looks like it's getting better , it looks like it's clearing up . It's not as big as it was before . So now I feel like I mean that's kind of I don't , I can't speak for you , but that's kind of like in the back of my mind like okay , well , we might still have to worry about this , like it could get worse again . Yeah , but it does feel like kind of nice knowing I don't have like a huge hematoma hemorrhage going on .

Speaker 2 2:06

That's bigger than the baby .

Speaker 1 2:07

Yeah , it was huge . So we found that out last week at our appointment with our sort of under smith wife and she was wonderful and she had an ultrasound just to kind of like check on everything . And we've been having monitoring appointments for the subcleronic every every week , every two weeks yeah .

Speaker 2 2:27

It's like yeah it's , it's been pretty Every four weeks and I'm like , can I do it every two ?

Speaker 1 2:35

So I just needed that , though there's so much anxiety and stress that goes along with a pregnancy , after infertility treatments and pregnancy loss , and that's just I know . That's just my experience , personally experience in this , but I know that that's such a universal thing in this community .

Speaker 2 2:50

I'm pretty sure that's pretty , pretty standard for anybody who gets pregnant after battling infertility for so long , so every everything your body does you become like hyper aware .

Speaker 1 3:01

Yeah , it's making me a little crazy . I'm not going to lie , but that's okay . We're so grateful to be here . So there's an ultrasound and she was . She was so relieved that we couldn't see it as big as we could before , and what it looked like was on the screen was just like a little sliver around , maybe like a third of the area where the baby was .

Speaker 2 3:23

Yeah , and originally we thought it was close to the placenta .

Speaker 1 3:27

but I guess the plinthus placenta was on the other side , other side which also feels like a really huge blessing .

Speaker 2 3:35

From what the ER doctor said , it was right next to the placenta and that's what was causing bleeding was that it was not attaching . So then we had two weeks of that thinking that any minute now you're going to gosh blood , it's going to be done .

Speaker 1 3:52

It was awful , it was horrible . Yeah , I just like in the other episode that we talked about this and I , if I think about it too much or if I like talk about it too much , I'll start to cry , because it was so I don't know . I'm like laughing about it right now , but if I don't laugh I'm going to cry . So we're going to move on from that . So now that we're not actively dealing with that , I feel a lot better . Not a hundred percent better , but I feel better about like I don't feel like dangerous imminent , if that makes sense .

Speaker 2 4:25

Yeah .

Speaker 1 4:26

Yeah , I feel like I can breathe just a little bit more . But I mean , she was saying some things about the baby at the ultrasound and I was like , oh cool , another thing to worry about , like that's so great . And she , she was so validating and she's like you know , if there was a problem I'd be very happy to tell you . Not happy to tell you , but I would definitely tell you if there was a problem .

Speaker 2 4:44

She would tell you , yeah , and she's straightforward and straight up . And she would tell you , yeah , she also told you . So the problem she's referring to is that the heartbeat was 206 beats per minute was high and the baby wasn't measuring exactly right , but what she said was that the baby was curled up and you could clearly see that .

Speaker 1 5:08

Yeah .

Speaker 2 5:09

So the measurements wouldn't be right because the baby's head was you know they had their head tucked down . So there's nothing to worry about on that front , because it makes sense the baby's head stuck down , so it's not going to measure properly . Yeah , that ground rumbling the rapid heartbeat , she still said was in the realm of normal , it wasn't abnormal and she wasn't worried .

Speaker 1 5:34

Yeah .

Speaker 2 5:35

So like , like I said earlier , after battling infertility for so long that you become so hyper focused on every little thing that could possibly go wrong .

Speaker 1 5:45

I feel like I'm constantly just like waiting for the other shoe to drop , like I'm still checking every single time I go use the bathroom that I'm not bleeding , even like randomly through the day check and make sure I'm not bleeding . Yeah , and I don't feel like I am . I just I don't know . It feels like making it this far , so emotional all the time , making it this far into a pregnancy after like going years without , I'm just so like it doesn't feel like it's real , like it feels too good to be true .

Speaker 2 6:17

Yeah .

Speaker 1 6:19

And that's really hard because , like I want to be present and like I want to enjoy the pregnancy , but and it has nothing to do with like not being grateful that I'm pregnant , because I am Beyond grateful , like I thank God every day that we made it to this point and that I actually get to carry Brent's child like that's the most amazing thing ever . But it's just , emotionally , it's a lot more difficult than I thought it was gonna be . Just I feel like I'm just like constantly waiting for something to happen or for , like this dream to end , and I Just Don't want to ever have to get to this point . I want the baby to make it here Happy and healthy and full-term .

Speaker 2 7:12

That's what we want so bad , so anyway , so the reason for this episode it's a special one .

Speaker 1 7:19

It is . Thank you for keeping me on track .

Speaker 2 7:21

You're welcome , like your human planner .

Speaker 1 7:23

I know I appreciate you help my ADD brain more than even know so .

End of IVF Journey

Speaker 1 7:30

Last night was our very last progesterone and oil shot and it was Such a crazy experience and it brought up way more about . Just everything is bringing up emotions for me because you know the current state of my body , but it was the craziest experience . I mean . I was like so pumped for all day . I was like , yeah , it's my last one and , to be totally honest , they have been awful . They have not been a good time . They have hurt . I have had bruises , I have had welts . I have had like big knots in my bum . Sitting down has hurt consistently for the last However , many weeks we've been doing them . So I'm 10 weeks now and we had to do them , I think .

Speaker 2 8:18

I've been doing them for eight , almost nine weeks . I did it a week after I think it's when we started .

Speaker 1 8:23

We did it a week before we started before To get my body ready for the transfer . So we've been doing them since like Well , we're okay , so we're almost August now . So we've been doing through for about like two months of Shots and we've had to do them in almost every situation like we were camping . Yeah , I had to have a friend give me one or those camping with a bunch of girlfriends .

Speaker 2 8:47

You were camping by yourself with a bunch of girls .

Speaker 1 8:50

Yeah .

Speaker 2 8:50

I did do them up at my parents . I haven't had to do it at your parents .

Speaker 1 8:54

No , thankfully my whole family would have came and like watched if we would have done it .

Speaker 2 8:59

I would have gladly let your mom do it .

Speaker 1 9:01

I would have want my mom to sorry mom .

Speaker 2 9:03

I do not like giving shots .

Speaker 1 9:05

I know .

Speaker 2 9:05

So I for one am extremely happy . Yeah but I don't have to give you any more shots because I have , like I'm already kind of shaky . Yeah and I feel like when I'm trying not to be shaky , I become even more shaky .

Speaker 1 9:20

It's true . Yeah , I've seen it . You felt it , I did so . Yeah , I was so , like I said , so , pumped all day long , like it's my last one . This is gonna be awesome , like I'm done . After this , the baby's gonna take over my body is doing amazing . I made it to this point and then we did the shot and right before that I was pumped . Still . I was like , yeah , man , let's do this . I'm so excited we didn't end up filming that one , because , um , it's getting kind of hard to lay on my stomach , so we had to like do it on my side and there was just no way to film that with a Uh , without like a sensor bar .

Speaker 2 10:00

Because your whole butt was out .

Speaker 1 10:01

Yeah my whole bum . Um , so we did it . And then , immediately after , oh , that one hurt , by the way , I hurt really bad , like I'm sitting on that side right now and it's pretty achy , but it's okay . So we did it and it was great . And then , like Immediately after you were done , and you were like rubbing it with the heat pad because that's part of our routine that we had with the shots um , it just hit me like , oh my gosh , that was my last one and I I started crying .

Speaker 1 10:29

Yeah , it hit me in a different way than like , yay , it's my last one . It hit me in like a I mean , I see , everything makes me cry right now . This is so . This is so rough . Um , it just hit me in like a I'm . There were so many emotions but , like I'm so grateful that we made it to this point and also I felt really bad that I hated them so badly because they kept me pregnant and they were able to , like , help sustain this pregnancy . You know , when my body was able to do that , because we had done a uh , not medicated like I'm , I'm sorry , a medicated cycle and I felt so guilty for Hating them so badly when I was so grateful for them .

Speaker 1 11:17

And then it was also just like now that we're done with the , and just the day before that we had officially ended our Estrella pills that I've been taking two times a day and our vaginal progesterone suppositories . And the last thing was just that next day , you know , doing that last progesterone oil shot . And then , once we did that , it was like this Can like , I'm gonna , I can let this feel like a normal pregnancy now .

Speaker 1 11:46

I'm not like an IVF pregnancy now , and that's something that I've wanted this whole time , and now we have that and it's just .

Speaker 2 11:54

Yeah , surreal .

Speaker 1 11:55

Yeah , it still is , and I'm so grateful that we've been able to make it to this point

IVF Journey and Pregnancy Challenges

Speaker 1 12:01

. There were so many times in the last several weeks that I Didn't think we'd get to this point and those shots would just sit on the back of our door and the little organizer just you know , like a sad little reminder . But thankfully we got to use all of them and I'm just it . Brin said it perfectly . It's surreal , like I mean . I know that this pregnancy is different because we had a very different path to get to this point with this baby , but Now I feel like I can almost give myself a little bit of permission just to like , enjoy it and To hopefully be able to work past all of the like , worry and the stress conflicting emotions .

Speaker 1 12:52

Yeah , yeah , because .

Speaker 2 12:55

You're not happy that we've had to go through all this , but you are happy that we were able to go through all this .

Speaker 1 12:59

Yeah , I'm so grateful for IVF .

Speaker 2 13:01

I'm happy that you're pregnant . You're just not happy with the path you had to take to become pregnant . Yeah but grateful that the technology exists that we could so grateful I don't .

Speaker 1 13:13

I really don't think that we would have been able to have this pregnancy if it wasn't for IVF .

Speaker 1 13:20

I just no , I don't , and I'm so grateful for it , and I've just I don't know , I'm doing that last one last night changed my perspective a little bit and we feel so much more grateful for every shot that we've had to do , even though they have been awful . But I'm trying to remind myself that I can feel more than one thing at a time , and the and is a good word to feel . It's a good thing , cause I can be totally mad that I had to do them , but also so , so , so grateful that we got to do them too . Yeah , so yeah .

Speaker 1 13:52

Oh yeah , sorry guys , I feel like the last couple of podcast episodes I've just that we've like recorded , just like Brent and I have been like me just trying not to cry and then me crying .

Speaker 2 14:03

That's you 24 , seven , I know .

Speaker 1 14:06

Oh my goodness . So , yeah , we're officially done with progesterone shots and it's amazing . I'm really looking forward to my bum not hurting anymore . I can still feel the . I can feel like both cheeks are still like .

Speaker 2 14:22

I think you're also looking forward to not taking ester dial .

Speaker 1 14:24

I'm looking forward to that . One hurt my belly the entire time that I took it .

Speaker 2 14:28

We had to take it before retrieval right , and that made you like , have zero energy , made you sick .

Speaker 1 14:36

Yeah .

Speaker 2 14:37

And I did the same here .

Speaker 1 14:38

Yeah .

Speaker 2 14:40

Plus the progesterone .

Speaker 1 14:41

Plus the pregnancy hormones on top of that .

Speaker 2 14:42

Plus the pregnancy hormones all of that converging together to make you want to vomit , sleep , sleep and vomit .

Speaker 1 14:51

At the same time . So I'm looking forward to having just like . I mean , I don't have my body back , I am growing our baby . But I'm looking forward to feeling a little bit more like myself now that I don't have that ester dial . But then that's kind of maybe wishful thinking because , like my other , hormones are going to be taking over too .

Speaker 2 15:11

So I think normal hormones ? No , they're pregnancy hormones but normal in the pregnancy sense , not normal in like a normal human sense like a medicated . Yeah , cause the hormones from the very beginning of this IVF journey . Holy cow , wow , they've been , they've been intense .

Speaker 1 15:35

Thank you , I agree .

Speaker 2 15:36

Yeah , you go between getting super irritated and angry .

Speaker 1 15:43

Which is so weird for me . I'm not an angry person , yeah .

Speaker 2 15:46

You go from irritated and angry to laughing , to balling , to just melancholy , and then you repeat that cycle and it's been . It's been that way since the beginning of this .

Speaker 1 15:58

Sometimes we threw in some like extreme exhaustion , just for some razzle dazzle just to spice things up .

Speaker 2 16:04

That's always . That's always there .

Speaker 1 16:08

Oh man . So I think if you are listening to this and you're getting ready to do your progesterone and oil shots , I would say and I'm hoping like this didn't scare you I just want to be like really real , like there's no way to get around it . They're not fun , but what they do is amazing .

Speaker 2 16:27

Yeah , and the fact that we have that stuff now is amazing , uh-huh , but for me I happen to give them to you . I've given you other shots before .

Speaker 1 16:36

Yeah .

Speaker 2 16:37

The oil in it , even no matter how like . You can heat it up in your hands or you can put it in a heating pad for a second yeah . But even though it's really thick , and it's really hard to hold the needle steady and push the liquid in , but don't rush it . Don't go as fast as you can , yeah take your time .

Speaker 1 16:56

The couple of times that Brent did rush it it would like give me the pain , the grossest metallic taste in the back of my mouth and I would have it for like about a half an hour to 45 minutes . And it was really hot there .

Speaker 2 17:08

And I think the only time you got a really massive bruise was when I rushed it as well .

Speaker 1 17:11

Yeah , uh-huh , so take your time . That's a really good point .

Speaker 2 17:16

Ice beforehand but don't ice long , no ice for like 10 minutes only .

Speaker 1 17:21

If that , if that , I think Five to 10 minutes , just so .

Speaker 2 17:24

the top is numb , but the rest of it's not , because once the oil that's warm passes through the cold flesh , then it instantly gets thick again . So it's a it's a delicate balance whether you want to fill it mostly or Because it is oil .

Speaker 1 17:41

I mean , when it gets cold , it does it moves a lot , yeah , it gets thicker , and when it's warm , I don't know . I've also heard from other people , though , that if you don't ice first and you actually apply heat to it , that can help it go an easier , which we never tried because I was just like we're just gonna numb it as much as we can . We did try the Buzzy Bee .

Speaker 2 18:00

That was the one that gave you the biggest bruise .

Speaker 1 18:03

Yeah , I think that was . We didn't ever end up using them on my stimulation medication injections when we were doing the beginning of our IVF cycle , but I could see how those would work a lot . The Buzzy Bee would have worked significantly better for that than the progesterone shots .

Speaker 2 18:20

Yeah , I just ended up after giving you a shot , just rubbing that on you . Yeah , the little so what it does .

Speaker 1 18:25

is it ? The main part of the Buzzy Bee vibrates , and then there's these little cute ice wings that go on the little bee . So between the vibration and the ice it's supposed to help it . So the pain isn't as bad , but the vibration helped a lot more . Having a good distraction when you're doing the shots is the best . Brent and I tried I think we tried a couple of times to talk through it and I couldn't do it . So I think I just had to turn inward and just breathe and that really helped , because they I'm sorry if I don't want to scare you , but they are not great . They're not great . What they do is amazing , but they hurt .

Speaker 2 19:03

I don't think you're gonna scare anybody , I think , if they've made it to the point where they're at this progesterone shot , let's just do this . I think they're understanding that the needle's a little bigger , and by little I mean like a lot .

Speaker 1 19:19

It's not massive .

Speaker 2 19:21

I mean the other one , one that took forever to mix . What was that one ?

Speaker 1 19:26

No , this needle's bigger . Sensual tide no , maybe this one's bigger .

Speaker 2 19:29

I know , but sensual tide was the biggest needle out of the other needles .

Speaker 1 19:32

Yes , that one was .

Speaker 2 19:33

It's not much bigger than this one .

Speaker 1 19:36

I don't know .

Speaker 2 19:37

I do because I saw it . My God , this is otherwise so much . But , I don't think they're gonna be scared from it because , okay , good , they know , no shots are nice , no shots are pleasant .

Speaker 1 19:49

They're not fun .

Speaker 2 19:50

What they do is amazing , but having to do them is stupid and difficult , but necessary , and they know that .

Speaker 1 19:58

Yeah . So , ice , have a nice distraction when you're actually getting the shot . We tried standing up a couple different times and I tried leaning over something one time when I had my friend give me a shot and the easiest definitely for me to like fully be able to relax that muscle so it wasn't so painful going in was laying down . So if you can lay down , definitely try that .

Speaker 2 20:22

I don't know . Remember when we went to the ER we had to still do the shots .

Speaker 1 20:26

I think that one just didn't hurt so bad because I was so distracted by what was going on .

Speaker 2 20:29

We didn't ice , we didn't warm it , we just did the shots and went to the ER .

Speaker 1 20:34

But my bum did hurt a lot when we got there , but the actual injection didn't . But I think that's just because we had so much mentally going on , yeah , so we weren't all with it . Another tip would be to apply heat immediately after . Get your heat pad ready , get a rice .

Speaker 2 20:50

Yeah , I would start the heat pad probably 10 , 15 minutes before Get it nice and toasty . Yeah , before you do your shot .

Speaker 1 20:57

And then what we would do is we would Brent would take the shot out like the needle out , he would cap it . I would get the gauze pad or the cotton ball directly on it , and then Brent would get the heat pad that we have and put it on top of that and then he would rub the injection site with his hand with the heat pad on me . So it was like a ballet of movements that we had to do to make it happen . But if we did that and we got the heat on it immediately and started rubbing it immediately , it didn't hurt as bad the next day when we were really really good about that . And then I would keep the heat pad on for like 10 , 15 minutes after and then it was usually good after that . So they're difficult . I'm not gonna lie , there's no way to get around it . They're difficult . I mean , I did it and I'm a big baby with needles . I'm finding out . Well , I'm a big baby with these needles , so I am a big baby with needles .

Speaker 1 21:54

I think it's just a good thing to remind yourself that , I mean , if you are doing IVF and you are just , you just have done your transfer . Like it's just a good thing to just keep repeating to yourself . Like you know , my body needs this , so I can support , so I can be a good home for an embryo if it attaches and we're trying to make the best home that we possibly can for an embryo .

Speaker 1 22:16

And if you do get pregnant which I really hope everybody does I hope that you can also remind yourself that you know every shot is making the perfect environment for my baby and it's helping the baby stick and stay and it's just making everything perfect , yeah , and I think you'll find that , when the time comes for that , that you'll have been through enough already that , oh , it's a little bit more . I think we kind of got yeah .

Speaker 2 22:50

Yeah , yeah .

Speaker 1 22:50

Like you've already done so much , like you can do just a little bit more when you've already gone through all the tests the blood work everything you've already come this far , there's no point in going .

Speaker 2 23:00

oh needles , I can't do this one .

Speaker 1 23:03

I think you just have to like jump in and just do it . Yeah , we had to do that several different nights so I have to like psych myself up . But then the nights we just do it . But then the nights we just jumped in and did it . Like mentally , it was just so much better when I had to like sit there and stress about what I was going to do . When I psyched myself up , I was a disaster

Emotional Toll of Pregnancy After Infertility

Speaker 1 23:17

.

Speaker 2 23:17

Yeah , well , anyway , how are you feeling ?

Speaker 1 23:21

Like symptom wise .

Speaker 2 23:22

Like now , just all over mental symptoms .

Speaker 1 23:29

I am always looking for the next appointment so we can see the baby and make sure everything's still okay . And I don't know if that's gonna go away . I would love it if the anxiety part would go away and I could just like really be present and enjoy this pregnancy . And I'm trying , I'm really trying . I just am so worried that something's gonna happen . So , mentally , if I wasn't dealing with that I think I'd be okay . I just , like I said a little bit earlier , I was not prepared for how difficult pregnancy after loss and infertility was going to be . Just it's just like a mind game , you know , like every symptom is like every twin , just making me crazy . It's like IVF .

Speaker 2 24:10

But I'll forget .

Speaker 1 24:12

But worse , not worse , just different .

Speaker 2 24:15

It's a different kind of part , yeah , so Well , it's like I said , if you've been struggling for it for years , anything your body does , you're gonna be like oh , what was that normal , you know , and it's so weird . Or pain , is that normal , or is something happening ? Let's go the year .

Speaker 1 24:31

And like I know , like everything that I'm going through physically is normal , I mean , like I have had two children before I am pretty familiar with pregnancy and birth . I did a year of middle of high school .

Speaker 2 24:43

It's the mental toll that you've had .

Speaker 1 24:45

Yeah , it has added up .

Speaker 2 24:48

For the past four years of trying and succeeding once and that going away and then just fail after fail , after fail . So it's just the mental toll that is playing on your mind that feeds your anxieties .

Speaker 1 25:05

Yeah , no , I've been kidding .

Speaker 2 25:07

And that's hard to shut off . It really is .

Speaker 1 25:09

It is and that you can't . I mean , you can try , but it's really hard . I just Just to be dead inside , oh seriously .

Speaker 2 25:15

And I am not . I'm a very emotional feeling person .

Speaker 1 25:18

It's so hard , though , because it's so completely out of our control , but this whole process has been so out of our control .

Speaker 2 25:25

And I think I've kind of resigned that fact .

Speaker 1 25:28

I was going to ask how you were feeling .

Speaker 2 25:30

I've resigned the fact that it's going to happen . It's going to happen . If it's not , it's not going to . Nothing I can do , because I've done everything that I can is going to change any outcome .

Speaker 1 25:43

So it's so hard though .

Speaker 2 25:45

It is , but I have never really struggled with anxiety or anything .

Speaker 1 25:49

So yeah , and I have like a really big need to be in control .

Speaker 2 25:52

You do .

Speaker 1 25:53

So I bet you can imagine the last several years I've been like yeah , I heard it .

Speaker 2 26:00

So that's me . I just it's out of my control and I'll either be extremely happy or extremely sad , and there's nothing I can do . No , but we're praying for the first one , obviously , but there's nothing I can do that will change either outcome it is going to happen or it's not .

Speaker 1 26:21

But I do think it's a big deal that we've made it this far so far .

Speaker 2 26:24

And I celebrate every milestone with you , we really do .

Speaker 1 26:27

Everyone it's like , oh my gosh , you , we made it to that one . And then we kind of like breathe into it for a minute and then it's like , okay , now we have the next one , we have to make it too .

Speaker 2 26:36

But I don't think , if I was on your level of anxiety , that things would be better . I think it's good that there's a balance to a relationship where one is hyper focused and hyper aware and hyper anxious .

Speaker 1 26:52

Yeah , and that's me , and the other one that's pretty much just chill about everything . Yeah .

Speaker 2 26:59

Yep yeah , chill , symptomize you're feeling like what .

Speaker 1 27:04

My boobs are sore . They hurt putting on a bra , taking off a bra , rolling over in bed without a bra . No , I have to wear a bra , otherwise it's too painful .

Speaker 2 27:15

They really hurt your vote for no bra .

Speaker 1 27:18

Yeah , I'm sure . Unfortunately , though , your vote does not count when it comes to my undergarments . So it's rude , I know . So the boobs hurt . I am not throwing up every day like I thought it was going to be , but I am really nauseous about like five or six times a day , and it hits me really randomly and then I'm like not okay . A new fun one I'm experiencing is heartburn . That was tonight , what else ? I'm really tired . I'm really really tired .

Speaker 2 27:52

I hope that was just mostly the medications that you were taking . I know you're going to be tired , obviously being pregnant .

Speaker 1 27:58

Oh , buddy , I'm in the first term .

Speaker 2 28:00

I know , I know , but you were also taking a ton of the chest room .

Speaker 1 28:04

Yeah , that's true , but now my natural predruster want to be kicking in and I think that's going to always be better though . I would hope so .

Speaker 2 28:13

Your body knows it .

Speaker 1 28:14

Yeah , so yeah , really tired . What else have I complained to you about ?

Speaker 2 28:20

Everything .

Speaker 1 28:21

Cool .

Speaker 2 28:22

It'll be too long .

Speaker 1 28:25

I swear he really does love me . I do .

Speaker 2 28:30

I'm sure there was more , but we're recording this kind of late at night and my brain is like you already said you were tired , yeah , and I'm like , I'm just going to sit on the couch , so I think you can probably do it . Okay , all right , I'll do it .

Speaker 1 28:45

Yeah , but I mean .

Speaker 2 28:47

Anyway .

Speaker 1 28:47

We're getting there , yeah , Every day that passes I'm super grateful for and I , oh my gosh if you're listening and you're still right in the trenches , I'm sending you like all of the sticky baby dust . I'm sending you all of the good vibes . I'm sending you like so much love . I'm hoping everybody out there gets their big freaking fat positives and I wish everybody could have unlimited McDonald's fries for all of the good luck .

Speaker 2 29:13

Well , just in general cause they're delicious .

Speaker 1 29:16

They're really yummy .

Speaker 2 29:17

Well , yes .

Speaker 1 29:18

They hit so good after a transfer .

Speaker 2 29:21

Oh yeah , you've been starved all day , you've been so good . And you're , you're high .

Speaker 1 29:26

I was high . I was high from we're going to have to clarify , not recreationally , I was high .

Speaker 2 29:32

From volume .

Speaker 1 29:33

From volume .

Speaker 2 29:34

To relax or yes , yes . So anyway , so we kind of just gave you all some tips , some things to look out for , some hope , I guess , because it is a hard subject .

Speaker 1 29:50

And it's really difficult .

Speaker 2 29:51

And it's difficult to listen to , and it's difficult to listen to now that we're pregnant .

Speaker 1 29:59

So Moving forward , I'm just hoping that I would ever want to trigger somebody by hearing that we , you know , like quote-unquote , we beat infertility . Don't think we did we sidestepped infertility .

Speaker 2 30:13

I think because we're still technically Not able to conceive on our own .

Speaker 1 30:17

We're not for whatever reason , and it's always gonna be part of our story and it's still . We still feel like so deeply Connected to this community and we're so grateful for this platform that we have , that we can , I mean , talk about it and we can , you know , share awareness and everything , and we're just , we're grateful to be here and that we have the means to be able to have this podcast and be able to share . So I just , more than anything , I hope that everybody out there that is listening that is , like I said , in those really difficult moments Can just have a little bit of hope . I mean , it worked for us , right , and it works for so many people , and it also doesn't work for so many people . But the whole point of our podcast is that your story matters and that Every single infertility story matters and that yours deserves to be shared on your own terms , absolutely .

Speaker 2 31:14

Yeah , so , speaking of that , if you know anybody who is struggling through infertility and Want to send them this podcast in our Instagram page , that would be awesome . Yeah , you would like to be a guest .

Speaker 1 31:31

That would be awesome to you , we love talking , yeah , so just reach out to us .

Speaker 2 31:36

You do have a website .

Speaker 1 31:37

We do have a website , so it's W . We can put this in the show notes too , but it's wwwthemabeebabydiariescom and you can also message us through the Instagram Direct messages . We're not crazy hard to get hold of . And we love hearing from you guys and we're really grateful that we get to be here and we're so grateful that we get to share this journey with you . We're still on this journey . It just looks a little different right now .

Speaker 1 32:05

But , we're grateful for all of you guys , so , so , so grateful . Thank you for listening . Thank you for listening to me in emotional again , another podcast episode . Hopefully in the next one I will keep it together . It's a little bit more and and with that we will see you guys in next week's episode . Have a great week . Bye .