Have you ever felt like feeling Joy was impossible during a trial? Kristi Corless reveals how she found happiness in the midst of her infertility journey. Tune in to our candid conversation as we talk about the hidden joys in difficult situations. Drawing from Kristi's knowledge, we share how hobbies like music and art, along with the power of journaling, can provide solace in the toughest of times.
Hear us delve into the impact of gratitude and service in alleviating struggles and elevating our spirits. Taking cues from Kristi's personal journey, we discuss how a simple practice of gratitude journaling can rekindle hope and bring about a transformative shift in perspective.
In our closing segment, we shine a spotlight on the significance of a robust support system and the valuable lessons that can be drawn from past experiences. We emphasize the benefit of expressing and processing emotions while navigating through difficult seasons in life, like infertility. We also provide information on local support services, such as the Utah Infertility Resource Center, Sarah's Laughter, and Resolve.org. No matter what life throws at you, remember that it's okay to seek help and lean into your emotions. It could be the first step towards finding joy in your journey.
www.UtahInfertilityResourceCenter.org
www.Resolve.org
www.Sarahs-Laughter.com
www.WaitinginHopeInfertility.com
Have you ever felt like feeling Joy was impossible during a trial? Kristi Corless reveals how she found happiness in the midst of her infertility journey. Tune in to our candid conversation as we talk about the hidden joys in difficult situations. Drawing from Kristi's knowledge, we share how hobbies like music and art, along with the power of journaling, can provide solace in the toughest of times.
Hear us delve into the impact of gratitude and service in alleviating struggles and elevating our spirits. Taking cues from Kristi's personal journey, we discuss how a simple practice of gratitude journaling can rekindle hope and bring about a transformative shift in perspective.
In our closing segment, we shine a spotlight on the significance of a robust support system and the valuable lessons that can be drawn from past experiences. We emphasize the benefit of expressing and processing emotions while navigating through difficult seasons in life, like infertility. We also provide information on local support services, such as the Utah Infertility Resource Center, Sarah's Laughter, and Resolve.org. No matter what life throws at you, remember that it's okay to seek help and lean into your emotions. It could be the first step towards finding joy in your journey.
www.UtahInfertilityResourceCenter.org
www.Resolve.org
www.Sarahs-Laughter.com
www.WaitinginHopeInfertility.com
Welcome to the Maybe Baby Diaries podcast. I'm your host, mariah Montgomery. Here we'll discuss all things in fertility, like heartbreak, joy, growth, loss and the wild, crazy journey that it is. Let's bring awareness, education and understanding to the table. You aren't alone. Together, we've got this. Welcome back to another episode of the Maybe Baby Diaries podcast. Today I have on Christy Coraless again. She was, if you guys have been following along for a while she was in one of the earlier episodes and we got to listen to her story and how wonderful and amazing she is. Christy, I am so happy that you're back with me again today. Thank you for being here.
Speaker 2:Thank you for having me. It's always a pleasure to spend time with you. I just love you so much.
Speaker 1:So for today's topic, I really wanted to talk about something that I know throughout my own journey I've really struggled with and I know so many other people in the infertility space struggle with this too and that would be how to find joy, even in like the really really hard moments. And while I've been thinking about this topic, you have just kept coming to me in my mind and like I need to talk to Christy about this, because for anybody listening, christy is wonderful and she's amazing and she's so positive and she always has had this beautiful ability to like turn the negative into the positive, and I love that about you.
Speaker 2:Thank you. Thank you. I don't know if anybody out there has heard of the or you have the Strengths Finder 2.0, the Gallup Strengths Finder test, but it's a test where it gives you your 34 strengths or qualities. There's about 34 and it lists them in order of like what your top strengths are down to like not strengths at all, more of like really weak areas. Yeah, my very top strength is positivity.
Speaker 1:So knowing you, that makes a lot of sense and I love that yeah.
Speaker 2:So just for some reason I have been able to be kind of blessed with that, I guess, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So I'll have my own as we get that out too. Poor guy, he's all good, so I would love to I mean, we've already heard your Inferiority story before. I would really love to talk about how you were able to find the positive moments and then maybe we can like move on to how you continue to find the positive moments, to kind of help give some ideas and some insights for other people listening that are also in that really difficult season. I mean and you and I were just talking yesterday I mean, inferiority is difficult, but there's so many other things that are difficult, so I feel like this could be a really good episode to talk about just how to find the joy just in life, when things aren't going your way when it's unexpected and when it's out of your control and, yeah, I definitely think this is a universal topic.
Speaker 2:Not only are those that are going through infertility, but people wherever they are in those difficult challenges with illness, disease loss. You know we go through so many challenges. So, yeah, I am when you were asking me and I start, you know, thinking about, you know, our journey, and that one of the things that came to my mind was a time when we inherited a piano. It was kind of earlier on in our journey and we were waiting, and one of the things I just felt the desire to do was to keep myself busy and try to serve others but yet at the same time find things that I could improve upon or develop, you know, talents or things like that.
Speaker 2:So the piano came into my life because my sister was moving and she had inherited my parents' piano because she was kind of the piano player out of the group and I had taken lessons, like one time in the summer when I was like like ten or eleven or something you know, but I'd always wanted to do it more, but I'd gone on to do dance and soccer and other stuff. So, anyways, I inherited this piano because I was like, yeah, I'll take lessons, and so I started taking lessons and music has been a thing, I think, that has always brought me joy. But being able to play and just kind of immerse myself in that, that brought me joy and it kept me, you know, having something to do. So that's one thing I think is, wherever we are, think of, you know, maybe you have a bucket list or something you've wanted to do art or music or picking up some you know, hobby or talent I think that can bring us joy. Especially, I've done a lot the last four or five years with a program called let's Jam that came to me just to help people overall with release techniques and you know emotional resiliency, and so it stands for journal, art, music, movement and meditation, and so those are all things that bring me joy, but I feel like those are universal. I've done it with kids and adults and you know there's just lots of science behind just writing out, you know, your thoughts and feelings and gratitude. Journals are huge.
Speaker 2:You know, there was one client I can't remember if we talked about what I do with foot zoning and those natural modalities, but there was one client I had that was really struggling and I noticed he and his wife since the death of her father. There was just kind of this dark cloud over them, you know, and I wondered how long it was gonna take to shift. I knew they were going through grief and loss because of losing her dad, but I was working with them for several months and one session at the end of the session it just came up, you know, hey, because he would tend to kind of naturally look at the negative and it would just come to his mind and it was a struggle for him to see the good and that was one thing that his wife then struggled with is because he would be into the negative and she would be like, but look at this. And it was hard for him. So it just came to me during this session to ask like what, if you know, have you ever tried to do a gratitude, you know, kind of a gratitude journal? And I just challenged him to like at the end of the day, to write three you know three or more you know things that he was grateful for. And normally that would be like you know, we've probably all heard that, yeah right, what you're grateful for. But then I asked him and I said and then what about starting your morning off the next day with three things you're grateful for? So he did this and we were seeing each other weekly, but I think they were out of town and I was out of town.
Speaker 2:So it was a couple of weeks later that we got back together and even just walking into their home, she was happier. The kids were all done and ready for the day, where each time before you know, they were in their jammies. Not that that's bad, you know what I mean, but you could just tell like she was having more energy. She was happier. Her kids were all together, she was put together. He came in, you know, and I started to I think I zoned her first and then him, and so as we started talking, she was like things are just so much better since he started doing that gratitude, I can't even tell you, yeah. And then, as I was talking to him during his session, he's like I just cannot believe the difference. Like I see the good now, I see the positive.
Speaker 2:So I think that that is something to and talking about this, you know, to see the joy we've got to focus on, like what our brain, what we think on, you know, focus on we're going to get more of it. We've heard that right A lot with the mindset stuff, and so in my journey I've done a lot of that personal development and the mindset for my own self too, because I younger, in my younger years especially, um, and then through infertility, you know, I dealt with some depression. I think a lot of us have gone through that with infertility and I just learned a lot about, okay, we can, you know, we can help ourselves if we focus on, you know, focus on the things that will bring us joy, focus on, you know, the positive, then that will, that will help us and stuff. So anyway, so the gratitude like that's been on my mind because I totally like, even though I was doing foot zoning and usually we see huge shifts with just that, it was just noticing this, it just wasn't. And then when I came that day it was totally shifted and and they had, you know, just went up from there and it was getting better and better. So that taught me a lot, like I knew it was powerful, but to see the difference like so quickly, in just a matter of a couple of weeks, that was huge.
Speaker 2:So I think that brings us joy when we can. You know, um, if you look at into like the vibrations or frequencies, like gratitude and joy, you know their way clear up here high on the scale, where you know those other lower vibrations are not. And so the quickest way to bring us up, I think, is gratitude and, you know, thinking about the blessings we already have. I know that's like one of those things we don't like to. You know we want this, we want this baby, but it's like, okay, you know what else Like if we have parents or family. That was another thing. I had a sister that was struggling when we were waiting. Um, she was divorced and she I was going through a divorce. So I was helping her through the divorce and then I was helping with our two little kids, and so I was the favorite aunt.
Speaker 2:Of course, um, I'm the youngest of 10, and so I was a great aunt to all my nieces and nephews Just love me, of course, cause like it's been time with them, um, anyways, and so with her and my other nieces and nephews, I just tried to, you know, have fun and do what I could with them and and so I think, in whatever, whatever areas to look out, another thing is service.
Speaker 2:I would say yes, don't you agree, like there's just something about, even if it's just a little little thing? You know, if you try just one thing a day to, whether it's reaching out, calling somebody, or, you know, stopping by the neighbor, you know, or helping with something, you know, just whatever, little or big, I think service is huge, huge, for you know switching and you know, getting us outside of ourselves and our worries and everybody's struggling with something right, and so it's. You know, while it's okay and good to do our own self care and and recognize our feelings and focus on our healing and and that I think what's helped me find the joy and keep going is to just serve and, you know, get outside myself, and you know kind of those things, yeah.
Speaker 1:So, going back a little bit with the gratitude journal that you had your client do, um, beginning of this year I was so depressed with just everything going on with our infertility journey and things just felt really, really hard and it was just getting too hard to manage and I had been really good at like pushing all of the emotions away because I didn't really want to deal with them because they're really they're heavy, you know, they're painful, it's hard, yeah, and it just I just kind of exploded Like it was just too much and I couldn't get out of bed for like a week and it was. It was just a lot. And, um, what finally got me out of it was doing a gratitude journal and I remembered like I was laying there in my bed and I was like I can't do this anymore, like I still have these kids, I have to take care of I still have a life that I have to live.
Speaker 1:I still have a business I need to run. I can't live my life in my bed, even though I really, really want to, because this is really hard and I don't want to handle life right now. And the thought came to me that I needed to just write down whatever I could come up with that was positive, specifically about infertility and IVF. And I had the thought and I was like that's stupid, like I can't think of a single thing that I'm grateful for with this journey, like this is so hard. And I just was like you know what? I'm just gonna go grab a notebook.
Speaker 1:It took me a while to get to the point of actually grabbing the notebook, you know, but I got it and I opened up a page and I wrote what I'm grateful for with infertility and IVF on the top and I wrote two lines underneath it and I sat there for a good probably 30 minutes just waiting for things to come to me and I started crying because I realized after about 30 minutes that I did have so many things to be grateful for, specifically with infertility and with IVF.
Speaker 1:And once I started writing down these things, I couldn't stop, like I feel, page after page after page, of all these things that I hadn't looked at before, that were blessings and that I hadn't let myself see, that were things that I really should be grateful for. I mean, even though we didn't want the journey of infertility, just being able to do IVF was the biggest of blessings for us and I mean I was grateful for the opportunity even just to try, you know, was grateful for, like, the technology. It was a really big like changing moment for me in our journey and I think my mindset changed a lot just after doing that one gratitude journal yeah, it can be so powerful.
Speaker 2:And I recently was talking to a group of youth at a camp we were talking about well, I kind of I was doing the jam thing the journal, the art, the music the movement, the meditation.
Speaker 2:We did a little workshop, but I started out by, you know, introducing myself and kind of talked a little bit just about, you know, some of my challenges and what came to me to really talk with them about. Because I know the youth out there too, you know they are going through hard, hard things, right, yeah, and so I just expressed, and that you reminded me again of, you know, those hardest times that I've been through, you know, in my life. Now, looking back, I would not have it any other way, exactly Because, you know, and it's easier to see the gratitude after, of course, yes, but yeah, if that's one thing we can remind ourselves to that's been coming up, is we can look back and we can find the joy in the moment by looking back and remembering and I think, not only the joy but having peace and faith and courage that you know things are going to get better for the present and the future. By looking to our past and being like, oh yeah, I went through that, that worked out right, like so for my first two kids, you know I did get them through adoption. We, you know, had to wait different amounts with each of them, but it all worked out. They came into our home and just the way they were supposed to right. Then, with my boy, we did in vitro and he came and it worked out. And then my last one, we got you know the way, just through ourselves, just the old fashioned way I call it.
Speaker 2:But each time, you know, I was learning, and I was learning more about my higher power and how he communicates with me, my strength and my higher self and the intuition like my intuitive gifts and talents, I would say my strengths that I use now with my sessions and things. It would not be the same had I not learned Basically I say, how the spirit communicates with me, right, and so, going through all of that, that taught me to rely on my higher power, on God and myself, to know the strength and the peace that I can find in those moments. And so, had I not gone through all of that, I wouldn't be who I am today. Right, and so would I have any other way? No, but it is hard when you're right in the moment, but the thing is to.
Speaker 2:I have some, you know, challenges I'm going through right now too, but it's like what keeps me positive is knowing that you know what I've been guided through and everything turned out beautiful. You know, in my past and it will continue to be so you know and I do have a sister that she doesn't quite see things the same as I do. Sometimes she can be like, well, things maybe worked out for you, not for me. So I just feel like so if anybody else is out there thinking, well, maybe my past hasn't worked out the way I've wanted it, I still think we can look to what we've learned, like what has your past taught you right? And so, even if our past hasn't worked out the way we've wanted it, what have you learned from it? I think we can still learn and start to find the gratitude and the joy in those lessons, because we can learn so much and yeah. So, for whatever reason, there's that little thought. No, I love it.
Speaker 1:I think that's great, I know for sure. Like one thing that's helped me find joy in this whole journey is like having a really good support system. And I know I mean with lots of trials, but I know like, specifically with infertility, it can feel so isolating and it can feel so just. You know, nobody understands what I'm going through when there are. I mean, infertility is like one in six now, so people know what you're going through. But just having that real understanding of what you're going through and having that really awesome support system has made all the difference.
Speaker 1:Like you have helped me out so much and I'm so grateful for you, and I mean like even outside of my husband and my husband's been wonderful, but it's just so nice like surrounding yourself with other people that understand and want to be there.
Speaker 2:And have you mentioned you probably have before in other episodes, but will you mention for those locals some of the support services available? Like maybe other people in other areas, they could search for it too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so if you are in the Utah area, utah Infertility Resource Center is my most favorite resource for everything infertility. They have local support groups here in Utah all over the state. They have online support groups that even have a parenting after infertility support group and they have like quarterly play dates and things that they do. I attend the Weber Davis County one and I love it. I've had really wonderful friendships there and you can just feel how much everybody is rooting for each other and genuinely wants that next big thing, whatever it is, at that moment in their journey, for everybody there. That's my most favorite one and I can link that down in the show notes.
Speaker 1:Another really good one there is a Christian ministry. I can't remember the name of it and I'll have to put it down in the show notes too, but they are international and they have online support groups, so it doesn't really matter where you are. There's a ton of support out there. There's also Sarah's laughter. It's a Christian podcast that also has like a conference call and you can get on and you can like talk to other people. Oh, nice.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's. I mean, all these things are infertility resources. Resolveorg also has some and they believe that they also have support groups online too. So I mean they're really if you don't feel like you have that intimate circle of support like your infertility gang or whatever you want to call it there are other ways that you can get support too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I want to go back to what you mentioned about, because I have a tendency. I think we both have these personalities. We just like to be happy, and I think I mean everybody does but right, but specifically me and you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but but you brought up a good point about kind of not wanting to deal with or feel those, those painful emotions, or kind of shove them right, and I can totally relate with that and there's. So that's one thing I want to address is we don't need to hide or push or suppress or like try to just always put on that happy face, like it's okay to feel the emotions, to process the emotions, and I think that's what what a good support system is about. And so, yeah, if you don't have somebody to talk with or you know that group, yeah, find you know either on Facebook or one of these. You know resources, go in person or do whatever you can to just reach out and talk with someone, because you know they've even done studies with. You know women, how you get together. The endorphins, you know are released more and so you do end up being happier and stuff being around other women.
Speaker 2:But I just feel like that's really important to to feel it like, even though it's painful, even though you don't want to, sometimes, like I recently, you know, had a day where I was just like you know what, I didn't have a lot scheduled and so I could just like feel the emotions. I didn't want to, but I allowed myself to. I just felt it and, you know, did some meditating and stuff and then I was able to like, okay, now that I've I felt it, I've let myself cry If some of you have, you have a hard time crying find like a movie or a song or a yeah, find something that will help make you cry. I used to listen to this guy's things and he he would use certain songs that he would play when he just needed that release and it would make him cry. I don't know if any of you out there watch Les Mis.
Speaker 2:There's that song, that Jean Valjean song to bring him home. I think it has that that one is like oh, I can usually always cry. That's not a hard thing for me to do, I can cry very easily.
Speaker 1:I'm just like I can laugh but I feel very deeply, but.
Speaker 2:But I just think it's important to whether it's getting in the shower and letting yourself cry or, you know, feel it yourself, release. There's healing power in tears, like literally, they've done science behind that too, and so it's. It's different from, you know, the sad tears versus the, you know, laughter ones and stuff, but it is healing. So I would encourage you to do some things to feel it, to be able to release and heal. And you know, don't just think we always feel better after a good cry, like even though in the moment we're like, oh, I don't want to feel this is so painful. But if we surrender that's that's been coming up a lot I mean, we talked about yesterday too right, like when we surrender, like, okay, we're just going to surrender, we're going to just kind of lean into it instead of running away from it, like that helps too with whatever we're going through. So, and again back to those tools like journaling art is art is really therapeutic.
Speaker 2:I started to realize my daughters really needed that for a release and it was very therapeutic for them, and then I started doing it with them. And so you know, you don't have to get, you can get, like different mediums and canvases and like all the different stuff to try out. But even just like you know, a colored pencil or a crayon or even a pen or a pencil. There's been signs that says, you know, as you start just drawing with your hand and you just can doodle or just do whatever it's like getting out releasing stuff, and so that's cool. There's even like a I'll give you the link if you want to post it with it too but this neuro I want to call it neuro graphic art. That it's really cool, like you can just do a little, like kind of just little little lines or kind of connect the lines and then go back and and do a few things with it and it's like really cool, like what that's connecting with the neurons in your brain and stuff.
Speaker 2:But anyway, so art is really a good way to just be very therapeutic. It doesn't have to be expensive. Watercolors are fun. They even have they have these fun colored pencils. I don't know if you've ever tried this, but they have colored pencils that are water colored pencils. This is one thing I did with these the youth, about a week ago. We got the colored pencils, let them, you know, draw something with that, and then you take a paintbrush with the water and you go over it and it turns it into yeah so that's fun Anyways.
Speaker 2:But I think the journaling, the art and the music, you know, turning on the music, singing or jamming out or singing along, you know if you need to lift your spirits and then meditating, like can really clear things. But I think sometimes, in order to get to that joy, like we've got to feel the feels, you know, kind of lean in surrender and not expect every day that we have to put on a happy face and you know it's like it's okay, like we give others grace, right, if our friends are having a bad day, it's like it's totally okay, you can cry, I can just give you a hug. So sometimes I think we're a little more hard on ourselves and we expect that we have to hold ourselves to a higher standard.
Speaker 2:So just, I don't know, I just give you, if you out there need permission, I give you permission to just to just have a bad day every now and then, or several in a row, it's okay, and just keep telling yourself you know it's okay, Just because I'm feeling like this, it's not gonna last forever. You know it's, I'll get through this and you will. You'll get through whatever you're going through. You're gonna get through it with flying colors. So I know, can't remember how much I've talked about this before, but I just I'm a strong believer that we all have our angels and guides that are there to help us through what we're going through, and so I will just tell you I believe 100% that you have support. Even if you don't feel like you have support physically around you right now, in this moment, you do have that angelic support with you. You are loved, you are supported and you will get through this.
Speaker 1:That was perfect. That was perfect Really.
Speaker 2:That's just the message that was coming through.
Speaker 1:I love it.
Speaker 2:Christy, do you have anything else that you feel like you need to add, or I just I think we need to just be patient with ourselves and just remember that it is a journey and it has ups and downs and we're not alone, but that we'll get through it, and I have. I will say this last thing. My sister-in-law has a little sign above one of the entrances in her house and it says everything will be all right in the end. If it is not yet the end oh wait, sorry, I just messed it up. You're okay. Okay, it's, everything will be all right in the end. If it is not yet all right, it's not yet the end. I think I've got that too. It's everything's gonna work out, it'll work out.
Speaker 1:So and I think it's a good thing to also remember that it might not work out how you want it to, but it is going to work out. Yeah, and I have been on the receiving end of that many times. Where it's gone my expectation would actually happen is totally different, but it's always worked out.
Speaker 2:Yep, yeah, yep. I know that's the struggle with you know, when it's outside of our control. You know that's the struggle is it's not our timing, it's not exactly our way, but I just believe our higher power, if you believe in God and the higher power that he has this ultimate plan and it is always the right, best way, and so we'll always work out the right best way.
Speaker 1:Christy, you are wonderful. Thank you so much for being with me today. I love talking with you, um.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much for having me. I just love you so much. I love you.
Speaker 1:Really thank you so much for being here. I think this was a great episode and I'm really excited to have everybody get to listen to it and hopefully, if somebody is struggling making here and feel a little bit of peace and realize that I mean, we can find the joy even when things are really difficult, Yep.
Speaker 2:Break out the music, have a dance party even if it's by yourself. Yeah, absolutely, I remember to have fun. That's the last thing. Have fun like, just do things that I think sometimes we can be so serious, just remember to have fun and do things that are silly and that will keep us, you know, just relaxing and having fun.
Speaker 1:Thank you guys so much for being here today and for listening to another episode. Again, christy, thank you so much for being here. You are so welcome. Thanks for having me. Yeah, anytime, we will see you guys in next week's episode. Bye, my husband's gonna make me re-record that, so I have to re-sale it. Dang it. Okay you got this. We will see you guys in next week's episode. Bye.