Episode 11 - Navigating the Ups and Downs of IVF

Join us, Mariah and Brent, as we take you on the rocky road of our fertility journey after our egg retrieval surgery, sharing with you the trials, triumphs, and unspoken realities of IVF.  We'll talk through the story of life after transfer, and the whirlwind of emotions that has been our reality every day since. 

We talk about the raw and real moments, revealing how we juggled the elation of positive results and the fear that it wasn't real or that our baby wasn't here to stay.  But, as you'll find out, the road of infertility is never smooth. A sudden onset of bleeding two weeks into the pregnancy made our hearts stop, and we'll recount the frantic calls to the emergency line, the amazing support from family, and the overwhelming relief of hearing our baby’s heartbeat in the ER. 

Our fertility journey is a testament to how life-altering events compel us to reshape our lifestyles. We'll share how we turned to a natural and organic way of life in a bid to stack the odds in our favor. We discuss the importance of preparing for a positive outcome and how we took preemptive measures and made big lifestyle changes. But remember, every journey is unique, and while we were fortunate, it's vital to understand that there are no guaranteed successes in this process. We can only control what we can control, and sometimes, it's okay to let go and try to trust the process. So, come join us as we share our story of resilience, changes, and anticipation for what's still to come. We are hopeful for this next chapter.




Want to hear Part One of our Infertility story? Check out Episode 2 here - https://www.buzzsprout.com/2146932/12830204-episode-2-brent-mariah.mp3?download=true

Transcript

Mariah: 0:01

Welcome to the Maybe Baby Diaries podcast. I'm your host, Mariah Montgomery. Here we'll discuss all things in fertility, like heartbreak, joy, growth, loss and the wild, crazy journey that it is. Let's bring awareness, education and understanding to the table. You aren't alone. Together, we've got this. Welcome back to the Maybe Baby Diaries podcast. This is episode number 11. Today I have on Brent, my husband.

Brent : 0:26

Hello.

Mariah: 0:27

Hello Brent, we are going to catch you guys up from what happened in episode two, which was our entire, I guess, infertility story up to the point where we were. We are going to be talking about a couple of sensitive things today, so if you're not in a space where you can hear about positive pregnancy tests or work around pregnancy loss or anything like that, just tune in next week and we will catch up back with you guys. If you're going to stay, though, we're so excited to have you here and to be with us on the official 11th episode. Yeah, that's crazy, I know this little passion project is. It's been fun, it's been a lot of fun. So if you haven't listened to episode two, that's where we went over like our entire IVF story and our infertility story and what IVF was like. Now we're going to catch you guys up from where we left off, and we left off with our egg retrieval, I guess, and then the results after that. So do you want to go over how many eggs we got from our surgery?

Brent : 1:26

Just how many?

Mariah: 1:26

eggs did we get Brent 31. We got 31 eggs 31 eggs and that was amazing. And then 22 matured.

Brent : 1:33

And that explained why you were so.

Mariah: 1:35

I was so bloated, I was so uncomfortable, it was so uncomfortable, you felt full, all the time my ovaries were not having it, so we got 22 mature and then we got 17 that fertilized through XC fertilization, and then we went from 17 to 12 on day six that were ready to go be cultured and sent off to the lab to go have embryo genetic testing. We didn't have to wait the full two weeks to get the results back, which was awesome because I think Brent and I were both like I was so nervous, a little faster than normal.

Mariah: 2:09

Yeah, which was awesome, but they called us back and if you follow us on Instagram, you're already going to know this, but we had 11 genetically normal embryos 11. It was amazing.

Brent : 2:23

We had three boys in, the rest are all girls.

Mariah: 2:25

We got eight girls and three boys and now they're all just frozen and they're waiting for us to be ready for the next step with those. So after we had our egg retrieval and we waited for the results and everything, we moved on to getting ready for our transfer. We had to wait for the first cycle to start after the egg retrieval and that cycle was rough Like I was not expecting it to be that intense, but it was pretty intense.

Brent : 2:57

You just went through surgery. Yeah, it was a little more intense than we bargained for I think that's even what they said is that your first period after that would be pretty intense, and it was intense it was.

Mariah: 3:08

So I was a little disappointed that we couldn't go straight into a transfer after doing our egg retrieval. No, I'm not saying like a fresh transfer, I'm saying like a frozen the next cycle.

Brent : 3:19

I think for me, I think, doing it the way that we did it is the best, because I think your body is going through such trauma already.

Mariah: 3:26

Yeah.

Brent : 3:27

Retrieving the eggs. I think giving it time to heal, even just two weeks or however long ours was just, even at least two weeks to a month, giving your body a chance to heal would be more beneficial than going right into it, and not to say that that doesn't work, but I feel like you're giving it a better chance by waiting and letting your body heal.

Mariah: 3:48

Yeah.

Brent : 3:48

Yeah, because since you had 31 eggs, they had to poke you 31 times.

Mariah: 3:54

I don't think it was 31 times. It felt like 31.

Brent : 3:59

Even our doctor said she had to poke you a lot.

Mariah: 4:02

She did have to poke me a lot, so that's okay though.

Brent : 4:05

I think the way that we did it. If others are thinking of doing IVF, I think doing it the way that we did it not doing a fresh transfer, doing a frozen is better.

Mariah: 4:18

Just something to think about.

Brent : 4:20

But that's our opinion and just our experience, so it's very anecdotal.

Mariah: 4:23

Yeah, just something to think about. The recovery was nice, not going straight from having a retrieval surgery to going right into a transfer, and with how physically intense the transfer felt and emotionally intense the transfer felt, I can't imagine having to do that right after doing an acre triple surgery. So I am glad that we did have that space in between. So, yeah, we did everything and then we had to have that one cycle all the way out of the way and then we started medication, getting ready for the next transfer time and my period started and we got on the calendar and that was so crazy to know, like okay, if I get pregnant, that is the day that I'm gonna get pregnant, and to just like have it up on the calendar, like oh, it's right there, like we're this close to meeting our baby and having our baby home with us, if everything went according to plan. So we got ready for the transfer. Like I said, we're doing the medication. I was doing estradiol, I was upping my prenatal and my methylfolate, I was on my progesterone gel suppositories vaginally and then also doing the progesterone and oil shots every third day. And I'm really grateful that we had that protocol for our progesterone, because a couple days in or a couple doses in, with the progesterone and oil, my butt was like so sore I couldn't sit down like even now recording this all this time later like my bum is sore. We could do a whole episode on like how to survive transfer and how to survive retrieval. But if you have the option to do the protocol that we did with progesterone, I would definitely talk to your doctor about it. So just another thing to think about. We're just giving you guys little nuggets today of like something to think about pieces.

Mariah: 6:11

So, okay, well, we did the transfer. It was like the most amazing, magical, emotionally draining day I've ever had in my entire life. So I mean before that we had done so much to get ready for it. I mean, in that period of waiting between retrieval and transfer, we had still been doing acupuncture and foot zoning and I was still eating healthy and the water was up and we were doing everything that we could to get ready for, hopefully, this baby to make their home. And the day of transfer we got up early and we went to an acupuncture appointment in the morning beforehand and then we ate real quick because my acupuncture was just like did you eat this morning. Did you eat the breakfast? Have you had enough protein? You need to have protein. She was so great.

Mariah: 7:02

And then we went to do the transfer. I felt like we had to wait forever to get back there. It was a lot. And then we got back there and it was such a freeing moment to realize like there was nothing else that we could do. It was so out of our control and that our doctor had done everything that she could to get us to this point and we had done everything that we could to get us to this point. But seeing oh I'm gonna cry, seeing the embryo going through the catheter was just the most amazing moment. It made it feel like everything was so worth it to get to that point when we had tried so hard to get there. So the actual transfer went so smooth it was. I don't think it could have gone any better. I was really grateful that I had the option for Valium.

Brent : 7:53

Yeah, cause you kind of needed it. I did.

Mariah: 7:58

I am a really just naturally anxious person, so I'm not.

Brent : 8:01

No, she keeps asking me if I'm nervous.

Mariah: 8:07

Just about like life On that day she kept asking me if I was nervous.

Brent : 8:10

I was nervous, but like I'm not an outward show or of nervousness, so she was getting slightly annoyed.

Mariah: 8:18

And I was like be on my level.

Brent : 8:20

Be on my anxious level, cause I'm just calm.

Mariah: 8:23

And that's okay.

Brent : 8:24

But inside I wasn't calm, but outside I'm calm.

Mariah: 8:26

Yeah, yeah.

Brent : 8:28

But it was cool. Before they placed the embryo in the catheter, they put it up on the screen for us to see first.

Mariah: 8:36

Right.

Brent : 8:37

Yeah, that was cool.

Mariah: 8:39

And then the embryo just was awesome about it too.

Brent : 8:41

Zoomed in so far.

Mariah: 8:44

So far. So we could see a little little tiny bean.

Brent : 8:47

Yeah, and then they zoomed out and it just looked like a speck of dust.

Mariah: 8:50

Yeah, it was so tiny.

Brent : 8:51

Amazing that they can do that.

Mariah: 8:55

The technology really is incredible.

Brent : 8:56

Yeah.

Mariah: 8:56

And it's been amazing to be able to watch everything just like firsthand. The reproductive medicine is such a cool field of medicine and it's such an amazing field when it's like helping people have their families and I just I love it so much. But yeah, transfer went great. Valium kicked in so hard. We had another acupuncture appointment and I felt so high the entire time. I think I slept on our embryo.

Brent : 9:21

You did. I didn't want to stay in that room because, for whatever reason, they like it to be like Phoenix Arizona.

Mariah: 9:26

Because he is good for in Chinese medicine.

Brent : 9:30

He is not good for me, he is good for the body. So I left you in there for the half an hour that you were sitting and I think you were asleep.

Mariah: 9:38

I think I was asleep. I don't really remember that much of the rest of the day, but and I went out to the air conditioning.

Brent : 9:43

Yeah.

Mariah: 9:46

And then that was it. I don't remember the drive home because I was on Valium. I don't really remember being home, but I do remember we got home and in my family chat we kept making like stupid corny egg jokes, like oh, the egg retrieval, the transfer was excellent.

Mariah: 10:03

Like just Just punny, yeah, just egg puns everywhere and it was probably even funnier to me because I was like slightly loopy because of the Valium, yeah. So waiting was the worst thing ever. It was awful to wait that long. We were still doing my progesterone, we I was having the hardest time like emotionally, just like turning it over.

Mariah: 10:25

And I feel like, after you know that there is life inside of you for however long, even with you know I mean after having like a transfer like every little twinge, every little like ache, every little sensation is just like a possible sign that everything's going your way. So the second and third day after our transfer, I was really crampy and I was really crampy on like one side. And of course I went to Google, because why wouldn't I do that? I already knew the answer, but I know, I know and everything on Google said that it was a sign of implantation and to take it super easy. So of course I was like, oh my gosh, my baby could be implanted right now. And then I got nervous that it wasn't happening and then I like didn't want to get my hopes up and it was just there was a lot going on.

Brent : 11:14

Yeah.

Mariah: 11:15

It was a lot. So I'm trying to remember what day it was. I think it was six days after the transfer. I told myself okay, I'm not gonna take a pregnancy test Again after this. You're a liar. Well beforehand. We had talked about it and we had agreed that I wasn't gonna take a pregnancy test.

Mariah: 11:40

And you were like I'm gonna be so upset if you do, because I don't want you to be upset, and I was like, okay, for sure I won't do that, yeah. But I told myself that I'm just gonna take this pregnancy test and if it is even slightly positive then I will let myself keep taking tests. If it's even slightly negative, that doesn't mean it's not pregnant. By slightly negative I mean like nothing on there, that doesn't mean I'm not pregnant, I'm not gonna be sad, I'm gonna choose not to be sad because we'll know more when I have my beta blood draw. So I decided to take a test and there was the faintest, tiniest little baby line on there.

Brent : 12:19

Yeah, and then you came out because I was working. That wasn't that day that wasn't that day. You took more than one. You liar. Okay, we'll keep continuing then.

Mariah: 12:32

And I saw the line and instantly I didn't feel the emotion I thought I was going to feel. I felt worry like the very first second that I saw it, and it was just the faintest line, like I showed Brent the first pregnancy test and he can't see it.

Brent : 12:49

I don't really see the color anyway.

Mariah: 12:52

So I just was like you know it could be an evapoline, Like I'm gonna take another one tomorrow and even if it's like first thing in the morning and even if it's just slightly darker, then I'll just like you know, we'll be okay, We'll figure it out. I took another one the next morning and it was slightly darker, Like the tiniest, tiniest shade of darker. Is that when you came out to tell me no, that's the next day.

Brent : 13:15

Holy crap, you took three.

Mariah: 13:16

I did it for three days. You lied, I know you lied and again I didn't really feel like any excitement. I didn't really feel any. I just I don't know.

Mariah: 13:30

It's hard to kind of talk about where I was right then. I think I was just so worried that it wasn't gonna be real after all these years of waiting and after all this time of, like, all these negative pregnancy tests that we've taken for the last, however many years, and then to finally get a positive one. For me, was not this amazing? Like, oh my gosh, I'm so blessed. It was really, really scary and that was hard to navigate and I felt bad for being worried, that being my first reaction. But I didn't want to have another miscarriage, I didn't want it to not be real and I really didn't want to get my hopes up.

Mariah: 14:04

So the next morning I had a podcast interview and I had taken a pregnancy test right before that and I saw it and I was like, okay, I cannot even argue with that, that is positive. I was like I'm pregnant, but I had to put it away because I had a podcast interview and I was getting ready for it and everything. And then I had the interview and I looked at the pregnancy testing in and it was, like I said, I couldn't argue with it. I knew I was pregnant and I also knew that there was no way that I could keep the secret from Brent at that point and I also knew who was gonna be upset with me. So I sat on the bed for a while and I was just looking at the test and I was like, oh my gosh, I think I'm pregnant. Oh my gosh. Okay, and I was trying to make myself be excited. But I was just so worried because I didn't want to lose this baby when we had seen them literally from the very beginning and I already loved them so much.

Mariah: 14:53

Just in that moment I was just, I was scared and I just I didn't know any other emotion. But I recorded myself kind of like talking about this positive pregnancy test and I was like I think I'm pregnant. And I think it hit me in that moment when I was like, oh my gosh. And then I think I got a little bit more excited then. But I had this cute idea of how I was going to tell you, brent, and then it didn't work out because you didn't listen to me. So I ended up just like going outside and I was like, hey, take this picture with me, that's gonna say that. Or do like this little video with me, and it's gonna say that we're gonna be like, oh, seven or eight days past transfer, however many it was by then and we're gonna be all pumped about it and you were kind of like, okay, whatever.

Brent : 15:38

I was in the middle of building.

Mariah: 15:40

You were out in the garden and the chicken area and I just went out there and like, oh, I'm barred to you. Hey do this with me. And then he was recording and he's holding the camera out and I'm like I'm like this is my chance, now or never. And I'm like I'm pregnant, just like you took a test and he was not. It was the reaction.

Brent : 16:02

I didn't give her the reaction she wanted and I didn't have but to be fair, you didn't have the reaction you wanted.

Mariah: 16:06

Exactly exactly. And then you're like, why'd you take a test? And I was like, cause I'm pregnant. And then we both cried so it took a second. I think he was kind of in shock and a little bit like, oh man, when we need to take a test? I think in fact on the video you just say something like woman, yeah.

Brent : 16:23

Well, I didn't want you to take a test, because the tests that we have just they're not the greatest. They're bought in bulk off Amazon for like 15 bucks and I wanted the doctor to give us the test. I wanted the doctor to tell us that we were pregnant, because she would know best. That's why, like, the reaction you got wasn't the reaction you wanted, because I I didn't want to like to fully believe that it was.

Mariah: 16:50

Yeah.

Brent : 16:51

And get my hopes up and then it not be real. I get that, so that's why my reaction was lame.

Mariah: 16:57

That's okay, it wasn't lame.

Brent : 16:58

Yours was lame too, I know it was lame. We were both lame and then-.

Mariah: 17:02

I think we were just so scared.

Brent : 17:04

It's all definitely for sure.

Mariah: 17:05

Yeah.

Brent : 17:06

For years and a miscarriage, and-.

Mariah: 17:08

Yeah, I think even-.

Brent : 17:10

We didn't have a couple of false positives in the past, yeah, so yeah, it's not out of the realm of possibility that we were both just-. I think scared was our first reaction. Not scared, not believing, and we didn't want to get our hopes up, yep.

Mariah: 17:23

So we did have our baited blood draw and we were both super nervous for that, because I really wanted a good number, I didn't want it to be like a chemical pregnancy and I just I don't know. You learn a lot from that first blood draw.

Brent : 17:34

Yeah.

Mariah: 17:35

So we went in. They asked if we had taken a test and I said yes, and I said yeah, it's positive. And they were just so excited and so sweet about it and they called us back a couple of hours later and we had really good numbers. I know we were in the 200s, but I don't remember the exact number.

Brent : 17:48

It was like 250 or something.

Mariah: 17:49

Yeah, and we were nine days past ovulation at that point. So for how many days it was? It was good, it was a good number. Two days later I had to get up at 7 a. I had to be to the clinic at 7 am to do a blood draw. I was so tired and we did another one then and it was in the 500s. So they were thrilled and they were really excited and even when they called us with the results from the first blood draw, we still were like yay.

Brent : 18:18

Yeah, like faking super happy.

Mariah: 18:21

I mean that's awful to say. I think we were happy.

Brent : 18:23

We were happy that it was positive, but we were cautiously happy.

Mariah: 18:27

We were so cautious and I it was scary. Yeah, it was scary. I started dealing with all these emotions like oh my gosh, well, I'm pregnant right now, but like how long does it look at the last? And like am I just gonna lose this baby too? And it was really scary. It was a lot to deal with.

Brent : 18:44

Yeah.

Mariah: 18:45

I mean I think pregnancy after loss and infertility is like a whole really intense topic and it's a really loaded topic and we were kind of experiencing a little bit more of the native part of that than I had hoped for. But I mean I can't judge our reactions either. I mean I think I don't think there's a right or a wrong way to go about navigating what pregnancy is supposed to look like after years of infertility.

Brent : 19:12

Yeah, for sure.

Mariah: 19:13

So but I mean, we told our families, we told our kids, the babies were excited.

Brent : 19:17

We were gonna wait to tell our family, though.

Mariah: 19:19

We were, and then we just were like.

Brent : 19:22

And then we couldn't wait. So we had to try to like figure out a way to tell everybody at once. But nobody was answering FaceTime Like we did, a FaceTime group message. Nobody answered, so we ended up calling everybody individually. Which was a pain, which was a pain, and some of the reactions we got were pretty funny.

Mariah: 19:42

Yeah.

Brent : 19:42

I got my parents who answered the phone with the phone at the waist.

Mariah: 19:46

Makes me happy. It's adorable my dad always answers the phone with like his glasses up on his head and like the camera up his nose and it's just endearing Like it's so cute and my oldest sister was in a store with her two daughters.

Brent : 20:01

She started shouting.

Mariah: 20:03

And crying In the store. It was a really good day.

Brent : 20:07

It was a good reaction.

Mariah: 20:09

Yeah, everybody else had a good reaction.

Brent : 20:11

It was a good day, but that's when we, I think, started getting excited, because we told everybody and then we waited a couple of days to post about it on Facebook and Instagram.

Mariah: 20:22

I think we both were just still trying to like wrap our minds around, like, okay, this worked Like as of right now, like I'm pregnant and you know, like we have this baby coming. And it was. I have no idea if I said this like 10 times by now, but it was a lot. So when we found out, I was officially four weeks pregnant, exactly four weeks pregnant. The first couple of weeks were pretty uneventful. We were still like trying to believe fully that I-.

Brent : 20:54

Yeah, I personally was. I think I was having a more difficult time believing it was real because it's not in my body and I can't feel the changes.

Mariah: 21:01

Yeah.

Brent : 21:03

And I was waiting until we got the first ultrasound before I was going to be happy.

Mariah: 21:09

And we were really hoping that we were going to see a heartbeat that ultrasound. So we went in and I was like, oh my gosh, please will there just be like a fetal pole, like let there be a little baby. And there was. We saw the tiniest little speck of baby. We didn't see any heartbeat because it was early, I was going out of town and we wanted to schedule it before I was going out of town. But I mean, I felt like I could breathe a little bit more after the ultrasound. And then I got back from my vacation and on the first we were laying there in bed and I just was like okay, something I don't feel right, like I'm feeling a lot of like this is an infertility podcast, guys. I'm sorry it is what it is, but I was feeling a lot of wet.

Brent : 21:53

Yeah, you were, and I was, I was, I was asleep, you were sleeping.

Mariah: 21:57

So I went up and I went to the bathroom and I pulled my pants down and there was just blood like all over the floor, all over the toilet, and I just I my breath like stopped in my, I just couldn't breathe for a minute and I just oh I don't want to get worked up over it, cause I'm trying to not have such an emotional, visceral reaction of her that I talk about it and it's been a few weeks since then.

Mariah: 22:24

So I feel like I'm doing better, but I'm going to try really hard just to like talk about it and not freak out.

Mariah: 22:30

But I started bleeding and I started calling for Brent from the bathroom and the door was open and he was sleeping and he didn't hear me and I was like starting to not be able to breathe and I just heard him clean up the floor and I cleaned up the toilet seat and I went and stood in the entryway in our bedroom and he would not wake up and I was like Brent and he finally did and I told him I was bleeding and he just instantly got up and came over and looked in the toilet and then we like panicked and it was that cable. I need to call the clinic, like I'm supposed to call if I'm experiencing any bleeding. And we tried for an hour and a half to reach the after hours emergency line with the nurses and we left voice mails and nobody called us back and I was so positive that we were going to have a miscarriage and I was terrified and I was scared and I was sobbing and I was praying harder than I think I've ever prayed. I just couldn't lose the baby after. I'm sorry.

Brent : 23:32

Don't if you do it, I'll do it.

Mariah: 23:33

I know it's still really raw. Oh, I know Rain it in. I just was so scared to lose the baby after having them for only two weeks in the VEL. So unfair. So Brent's sister and her husband came over and I just really wanted her here and I wanted him here and they prayed over me and they gave me a blessing and then we ended up going to the emergency room with them and then what happened? I think I like blocked part of it out.

Brent : 24:07

We were in the ER for a good three hours almost four because we went in at eight.

Mariah: 24:13

It might have been a little bit closer to nine.

Brent : 24:15

It was around like eight, eight, 20. And we didn't get home until about almost one.

Mariah: 24:20

Yeah, so we were there for a while. We got there, they did blood work immediately. They gave me IV fluids. We had to wait for a while to do an ultrasound but we did see a heartbeat on the ultrasound and that felt like I could breathe just a little bit more.

Brent : 24:36

Our nurse, the nurse that we had. So we were in a. It's not a where we're at. It's not like a main hospital. I mean, I don't, it might be now, but it's like an offshoot of a hospital that's located somewhere else.

Brent : 24:53

It's just an ER, so it's kind of like a strip mall by a gas station, yeah. So we went there and I had been there once for my gallbladder and I did not like that place. But the nurse that we had I misjudged I misjudged pretty harshly because I was, I was upset and I was stressing out but she turned out to be really beneficial because her daughter had been through IVF and she knew everything about it. So that was good, yeah.

Mariah: 25:28

She knew, like the medications that I was on. She asked how many days I went and like how far along I was, and she knew that the timing was going to be a little bit different with, like you know, a transfer, and she knew all the terminology. So she was able to kind of be a little bit of a liaison between us and the doctor to educate him a little bit on IVF pregnancies.

Brent : 25:48

Yeah.

Mariah: 25:48

And how they're a little bit more sensitive. And it was, it was really.

Brent : 25:53

It was really nice, she was wonderful and she was sweet, she was, she was really good. And then after that you wouldn't. I had the ultrasound, but they did it on top, they did it abdominally instead of transvaginally.

Mariah: 26:08

So I didn't think that they were gonna be able to see anything. So the fact that they were able to actually see the baby and see a heartbeat and it was a good heartbeat for how far along they was- I think it was 115.

Brent : 26:18

It was 115.

Mariah: 26:19

Yeah, good job, thank you, you're welcome. So I felt like I could breathe a little bit more, but we got back and waited in the room for a while. They checked on me a couple more times when the doctor came in and he said we know where the bleeding's coming from. It's coming from where the placenta is trying to attach, and this doesn't necessarily mean that you're going to miscarry, but it doesn't necessarily mean that you're going to keep the baby. That did not help.

Brent : 26:46

No, not doctor. He was nice, but he did not exude confidence.

Mariah: 26:52

No.

Brent : 26:54

And I know he can't give a definite, but even his bedside manner was just the stereotypical doctor.

Mariah: 27:02

Yeah, it wasn't what we needed in that moment.

Brent : 27:05

We didn't need him to weep or anything, but he was clinical and not emotional.

Mariah: 27:11

And it being Brent and I are falling apart.

Brent : 27:15

I was not, I was raining in. I was falling apart Because you were, so I was trying to be the strong one, which is really hard to do, but the nurse was good and the doctor was. He's probably a great doctor.

Mariah: 27:28

Yeah.

Brent : 27:28

He's probably a great ER doctor, but in that moment that's not what we needed. We needed our flipping clinic to call us back.

Mariah: 27:36

That would have been great. So they sent us home maybe like 30, 40 minutes after that and I did not really feel any better. It almost made it worse knowing that the baby looked perfectly fine, but my body was always having the issue and I just felt like my body was going to fail again and, oh guys, I'm sorry, this is so raw. So we got home and Brent was so sweet and he was trying to just like help me feel better. I was so grateful for that, but it just nothing would have made me feel better. And Brent trying his best there's only so much he could have done because it just felt like my body was going to fail again and we were going to lose another baby and I didn't want to have to go through that again with you. So he did his best to try to help me feel better, but I ended up just crying myself to sleep and just praying, as you know, however long I was awake. And I woke up to a call from the clinic on Sunday morning that Sunday morning and they asked what had happened and we told them and they're like well, we know what it is.

Mariah: 28:46

It's a subchorionic hemorrhage. They're common, but not common. They're really common in IVF pregnancies. They usually resolve them themselves. The fact that it's not bleeding right now is a good sign. That usually means it's like trying to just, you know, resolve. That kind of made me feel a little bit better.

Mariah: 29:03

No it didn't A little bit. But then I went online and I was looking up statistics.

Brent : 29:08

You went online, man.

Mariah: 29:09

I know I just I love to be informed. That's more important to me than having like false hope, especially because I've been so scared through this whole process just to get my hopes up and I wouldn't say it's false hope, I'd say just ignorance would well blissfully ignorant. Yeah, I wish it was To the situation.

Brent : 29:28

Yeah, internet fills internet's awesome, but it also is very detrimental to your mental peace.

Mariah: 29:35

This is true. So we, for the whole week, we're told just to be careful, you know, don't lift anything and try to take it easy. We had an appointment the next Monday, so this was like six days later or seven, eight days later. This was eight days later and we were at the clinic and they didn't ultrasound and yeah, cause it was our last appointment.

Mariah: 30:00

This was our one that we would have been graduating with. So they didn't ultrasound and the baby looked great, had a really really good heartbeat and the sub-chronic hemorrhage hematoma was definitely still there. It's really it was really large on that scan.

Brent : 30:16

And I think it's a comparison thing. Why it's large? Because the baby is in fact so small.

Mariah: 30:22

Yeah.

Brent : 30:23

That it looks extremely large.

Mariah: 30:25

Yeah. So they were great. They told us, you know, like they do usually clear up, we're gonna cross our fingers for you that it's gonna clear up. I would definitely follow up with your other provider like this week and get good measurements and kind of figure out what they want you guys to do going forward. And then that was it and they did say you know before, you know when you guys. She was so sweet, she's like when you guys do have the baby, just make sure that you call us, give us the birth stats where the baby was born. We like to know all that information. That kind of helped and she gave me a big hug and she was really sweet.

Mariah: 30:58

So we took a couple of pictures to document the fact that we graduated the fertility clinic, even though I was really stressed out and I didn't want them to let go of me yet, and we went home and she before we left. Another thing she told us you know, moderate activity restrictions, pelvic rest, taking it really easy until this clears up. So the next day we had a ultrasound appointment with a CNN and she was great and she told us that we just need to watch it really carefully and she had us go to Ogden Regional Hospital here for more intense imaging to get really good pictures of the hematoma. The next day so that was Wednesday we went and I got pictures and it was the longest ultrasound of my entire life and again the baby looked great.

Mariah: 31:52

The baby looked so great, so the hematoma at that point was still pretty large and now we're at a point where it's been. So that was Wednesday, so it's like four days ago that this happened and we are just waiting for our next appointment on I mean, I guess it doesn't really matter, because then everybody listens to podcasts at different times but it's on the 25th of this month and we're hoping for good news. So we're crossing our fingers, hoping that everything still looks great with the baby, hoping that the hematoma has shrunk. The fact that I'm not bleeding is a pretty good sign.

Brent : 32:33

Yeah, well, you're spotting, but it's not. It's not bright, red, Red yeah.

Mariah: 32:39

And I have this entire time, so that's also not like a huge cause for concern. We're just having to be really careful and it's really hard. We're getting ready for another vacation and I can't do anything and it's frustrating and I'm frustrated with my body for going through this, but then I'm also really grateful for my body for sustaining a pregnancy this far, and it's like a really weird place to be and I didn't ever think that we'd ever be in this particular place. So to summarize, pregnancy after loss and infertility is emotionally really draining. I don't feel like the stress goes away after you get pregnant. I think it just changes. And I miss when I was naive with my kids, when I was 18 and 19, when I had no idea about any of these things, and I miss that. I was just blissfully and aware that struggle was possibility and I miss how unaware we were that a sub-quarantiner marriage could be a thing.

Brent : 33:39

Yeah, I had no idea what it was.

Mariah: 33:41

Yeah, so we're doing good, though I mean, the baby looks great. I am sick.

Brent : 33:46

All the time. I am looking large and in charge you didn't mention the fact that the doctor at the ER said you also had a UTI.

Mariah: 33:55

That's true. I was winning that night.

Brent : 33:58

So she had that, and then she got put on antibiotics that were pregnancy safe.

Mariah: 34:03

That made her.

Brent : 34:06

So sick, so sick.

Mariah: 34:07

So, so, so sick.

Brent : 34:08

Like you, went through an entire box of crackers, I think. I did Like big box from Costco.

Mariah: 34:13

Yeah, yeah, oh, my goodness. I wish everything was like sunshine and rainbows right now, but it's not.

Brent : 34:21

No, it's. And that's okay it feels like it's a uphill struggle and you don't have any legs.

Mariah: 34:27

Yeah, something like that. Yeah, we're just kind of like crawling our way up and struggling, but I am really grateful that I'm pregnant and I'm really grateful that every scan that we've had, the baby looks perfect.

Brent : 34:41

Yeah, we got to hear the heartbeat.

Mariah: 34:43

We did.

Brent : 34:43

That was cool.

Mariah: 34:45

That was really cool. So we've got our fingers crossed that things just get better and that this pregnancy can continue and that I can work through the negative emotions that we've had. But we are still feeling so much gratitude to even be at this place and I know that even just being pregnant and seeing the baby on the ultrasound and hearing the heartbeat and seeing that little flutter on the screen I mean as hard as this subchronic hemorrhage and hematoma situation has been like those moments have made everything feel very worth it. Yeah, I'm really really grateful for them.

Brent : 35:24

Moving forward. We're just going to be taking it extremely easy. You are. Anyway you're not allowed to do anything.

Mariah: 35:33

Nope, I'm really not right now, yeah, and that's okay. Whatever it takes to keep this baby here with us, we're going to do it.

Brent : 35:44

To summarize our journey thus far we cut out everything that was bad. I cut out monsters. I cut out fast food. I cut out anything like sugar. I started eating very clean. You started eating very clean. We started exercising. We followed a protocol for supplements and took that religiously to the point where I personally, after eating them, I wanted to puke like the third month in, because for men it takes two months at least for your sperm to regenerate, which is ridiculous that it takes that long, but it does. So I had to start clearbacking the end of the beginning of December, but I took it really seriously on Christmas because my gallbladder decided it wanted to kill me. So that was like my kickstart, because we were doing the transfer in February or the retrieval in February. So we started exercising, we started taking supplements, we started doing everything possible. We cut out all as much as physically possible. We cut out all bad things chemical-wise, like cleaners and started using more organic and natural-based stuff.

Brent : 37:09

We started exercising Not heavy, but I went heavy because I'm not carrying a baby, but I wanted to. I felt like, because we were putting forth this massive amount of money and we had the help of others putting forth massive amounts of money to help us bring a family here that we owed it to not just us but to everybody else and the future babies to do everything that we could physically do, and I feel like we've done that.

Mariah: 37:41

I do too. I mean me. In addition, I did everything that he just said, but I also did foot-soning, which is acupuncture acupressure oh my Hannah and then I also did acupuncture and we did those religiously. So we just that might not look like the right protocol for everybody and that's perfectly fine, but for us personally, we, like Brent said, just really wanted to do absolutely everything that we could, because we wanted to look back at this and even if it worked, even if it didn't, even if we didn't have good numbers with our agritrival, even if the transfer failed, we just really wanted to be able to say that we did absolutely everything that we could. Our story has been a positive one so far and we are very, very, very grateful for that, and we just felt like we needed to do everything that we possibly could do to do that.

Mariah: 38:35

We're also being in this community and having this podcast and still holding space for people in the community.

Mariah: 38:42

We're also fully aware that even if people do everything that we did, it might not work and that's really hard and that's devastating, and if you are in that situation, I'm really sorry and I hope that things change for you.

Mariah: 38:54

But I mean, if you have a little bit of control and if you have the means to do so it to me personally it makes sense to do what you can to help your chances better along, especially when so much is on the line with IVF and family building. So I hope none of this sounds preachy. It's really just like what we did, and I'm sure I mean correlation and causation are totally different, right, but I have to credit some of the things that we did to where we are now. I mean I just for me personally, like I believe that what we did do to get to this point had to have helped, and I'm very, very grateful that we had the means at the time everything to be able to afford everything that we needed, that we wanted to do, like to be able to afford the acupuncture and the supplements and yeah, because everything really clean, Everything is really expensive, everything is really expensive and the tests that we wanted to do to ensure that everything was good was expensive.

Mariah: 39:58

Yeah, and I'm very grateful.

Brent : 40:00

XZ was expensive.

Mariah: 40:01

Yes, we. I think we both are fully aware how lucky and how privileged we are to be able to have been able to afford all of that too, and I know that that's not going to be everybody's circumstance. I know that. I mean, ivf is so expensive, it's so expensive, and if you can afford the bare minimum, that's okay. I mean, even just upping your water, that's going to make a difference, right Upping your water and limiting sugar.

Brent : 40:24

Yeah, there's things like that that don't cost anything to do.

Mariah: 40:29

No, and getting in a couple of extra steps. If you're physically able to do that, yeah.

Brent : 40:33

I mean, I mean don't go start CrossFit or anything. No, don't do that.

Mariah: 40:38

Also listen to your doctor, though. I mean, they're there for a reason. They know what they're doing. Yeah.

Brent : 40:42

And this is just anecdotally, it's just our experience. Yeah, everything that we did to get to this point and it worked for us. We had 31 eggs retrieved and 11 that are ready to go.

Mariah: 40:53

Yeah, time now, and we're now eight eight weeks. Eight weeks and three days with this baby. And it's.

Brent : 41:00

I never thought we'd I'm grateful, but even that hasn't been yeah, even that, though, hasn't been sunshine or roses.

Mariah: 41:06

Nope, it's not, it's just an uphill battle. Yeah, and we're still continue to work so hard to get our little baby, baby here.

Brent : 41:12

Yeah, yes, yeah. So that's that.

Mariah: 41:17

That's where we are. Hopefully you could get something from that long story of our traumatic subchoronachematoma and how we were both like in shock and not thrilled or I was pregnant.

Brent : 41:34

It's not that we weren't thrilled, we were just cautiously happy.

Mariah: 41:38

Very cautious, very, very cautious.

Brent : 41:40

It should be the title of this episode I know Cautiously happy.

Mariah: 41:44

We're grateful for you guys, though, and we are really grateful for all of the support that we've had with the podcast.

Brent : 41:49

It's been amazing.

Mariah: 41:50

Yeah, you guys are wonderful. We are so grateful for it. And thank you for tuning in to another episode and listening to Brent and I and just kind of ramble on about the last what? Four and a half weeks, and even before that with the transfer and everything.

Brent : 42:04

So yeah, I feel for you guys. We have a YouTube channel where we've been recording everything and I put together a couple films. They'll be out soon, mm. Hmm, a full, complete from start to finish.

Mariah: 42:18

Yeah, we're hoping that everything continues to be okay with this baby and then we can have like a full, really long one, that somebody we can show this baby and be like look how hard we worked for you.

Brent : 42:28

That's the main goal.

Mariah: 42:29

The main goal.

Brent : 42:31

And we can be like look at this, we did this for you, we did this for you, knock that off. Well, anyway, if you know anybody that's going through IVF or going through infertility in general, feel free to share this podcast. It's full of good information. We've had really good guests on.

Mariah: 42:51

We have Everybody's been wonderful.

Brent : 42:53

We have future guests.

Mariah: 42:56

And if this resonates with you and you feel like you want to be a guest on the podcast, you would absolutely love to have you on and to just hear what you have to say, hear your story, hear about where you've been, where you're going, all the things. Yeah, so Thanks for being here, guys, we'll catch you in next week's episode. We'll talk to you later. Bye.